Touch ground when it thunders

Cockney Rhyming Slang

I promised this a while ago so here it is. Cockney Rhyming slang is my favourite and I think the most clever slang in all of english. My friend Sam, who delightfully uses the slang around me now because she knows I dig it, tells me that technically this is South London slang. In order to be considered cockney one has to be born within the sound of the Bow Bells, and she wasn't. Here's how it works: the noun is replaced by the first word of a two word phrase, the second of which rhymes with the noun in question. For example, if one were to say "I haven't got a Danny." What you're saying is "I haven't got a clue." Because Danny Larue rhymes with clue. Sometimes you say the entire replacement phrase, in these instances I've wrapped them in "". Enjoy.

Bread and Butter= Nutter (ex. That blokes a real bread.)
Apples and Pears= Stairs (ex. The loo is just up the apples.)
Britney Spears= Beers (ex. Drinkin a couple britneys.)
Hampstead Heath= Teeth (ampsteads)
"Sky Rocket"= Pocket
Tommy Trinda= Winda (window)
Packet off Dreft= Left
Stingin Nettle= Kettle (put ont he stinga)
"Deep Sea Diver"= Fiver
"Ayrton Senna"= Tenner
Veera Lynns= Skins (rolling paper)
Oily Rag= Fag (cigarette)
Salmon and Trout= Snout (" ")
Ruby Murray= curry
Plates of Meat= Feet
Frog and Toad= Road
Dog and Bone= Phone
Pigs Ear= Beer
Pony= 100 quid note
Pony and Trap- Crap
Mince Pies= Eyes
Jack and Danny= Fanny
Rosey Lee= Tea
Jam Jar= Car
"Adam and Eve"= Believe
Earther Kitt= Shit
Thru'penny bits= Tits
Bobby Moore= Sure
Rob a Dub= Pub
Kitchen Sink= Chink
Sceptic Tank= Yank
Nelson Mandela= Stella (artois)
"Brahms and List"= Pissed (drunk)
"Trouble and Strife"= Wife
"Skin and Blister"= Sister
Hillbilly= Chilly
Sherbert Dab= Cab
Whistle and Flute= Suit
Currant Bun= Sun (the london paper)
"Cream Crackered"= Nackered (tired)
Danny Larue= Clue

Come on, how cool is that? Today I'm doing a cocktail clinic for Tristan and his exceedingly nice and attractive staff at 47, the bar that was nice enough to put on the Series, with sound, for little old me. Hope you all enjoy the Saaf London (that's how they say South, there's no "th" sound in Saaf London) rhyming slang. It's raining.

posted by jts @ 4:15 PM